MommaMatch

July 19, 2020 - 22 Minutes
Introduction to Danielle Gauss, who she is, her background, why she became a lactation consultant, what you can expect from this podcast and why she has a fear of clowns.

Transcription:
Danielle: [00:00:02] Good morning, Mammas. I am so excited for this to be my very first podcast and it's not going to definitely be the last. Let me introduce myself. My name is Danielle Goss. I am an international board certified lactation consultant. I am also a childbirth educator. I was a labor doula. I was all sorts of things before I started adding initials to my name. But of course, my latest hat has been as an IBCLC lactation consultant, which I have been in the lactation field now for almost 16 years. I've been an IBCLC, for 10 and have helped tremendous amounts of mammas with crazy cases. I now have my own office in Irvine, California. I am in advanced practice lactation care, which means I get all the more interesting, difficult cases. But my specialties include oral tethering, meaning lip type tongue ties, and all those fun things as well as low milk supply because I kind of like to think outside the box.

Danielle: [00:01:06] I have had a crazy pants medical history myself, as has my daughter, which you're going to hear all about my family and my kids because parenting girls, let's be real and men you're probably listening to, parenting is rough. It's hard and holy moly, no one prepares you for all of that. You know, breastfeeding is supposed to be this magical, easy, natural thing. And it's not. I remember staring at my daughter, my youngest, who's now sixteen at six days, going oh my stars, I can't feed you.

Danielle: [00:01:43] I feel like my nipples are about to fall off. So I get it, girl. I got you. So I have a very weird body and I remember everything that could go wrong went wrong. So when I'm handling cases, I like to think outside the box because in my opinion, there's always, always a reason for nipple soreness. There's always a reason for low supply. And in all my years I have found many times over that breastfeeding often brings to light things we didn't even know existed. So that is why I am here for you, I feel like, parenting, motherhood's hard enough and it changes your whole life upside down, your relationship with your partner or even you single moms who are so brave doing this on your own, you guys rock there. You're fantastic. But breastfeeding is just not easy. So I'm going to give you a little history about how I do and what I do. And this is our little intro for what the following podcasts are going to be. I have been asked for years to do this and I kept putting it off and wasn't quite sure, like, what can I possibly bring to the table?

Danielle: [00:02:59] But after much consideration, I said, you know what, y'all, it's time. So here's a little bit about me. I come from a theater background. I am literally the black sheep who went into medicine. I am from Las Vegas, Nevada.

Danielle: [00:03:17] Can I give it for my Vegas peeps? Growing up in Vegas is weird, y'all. It's like we kind of have our own weird accent out there and, you know, nothing like I have in high school years in the midst of casinos. That was that was good times there. Good times. My dad was a professional mime. Yes, that's a real thing. I was actually born while they were touring with a show called Excitement Seventy Nine back when mime was cool.

Danielle: [00:03:48] And I always teased that the reason I'm terrified of clowns is because the first face I saw was his white face with the creepy ass eyes and red lips. And I'm like, Dude, Dad, you've scarred me for life. But there's actually a baby picture of him holding me directly in the hospital and my baby face looks legit, petrified. So that's that's what I saw coming to life. My mom is probably the most fantastic human I know. She has, she alone, I'm going to have her on as a guest. She is hilarious and it has the craziest life. I know she I mean, who do you know that's been a beauty queen who got married young to marry a sports editor, broke that off to go live in a commune, was dating a mobster, then broke up to go date the CFO of Disneyland. Hello.

Danielle: [00:04:46] That would have been a fun one to marry mom. Too, now she leaves all that for a mime. Love you, Daddy. But seriously, Mom, any hoottle. So I grew up in Vegas after I was born and mime became lame. My dad went into construction and my mom became a theater teacher. She was actually the first female to cross the gender line in Nevada and cool like she was the first female stage manager.

Danielle: [00:05:18] So I grew up literally surrounded by showgirls and boobs, which I swear is why I have a fascination with breasts. They were just all around me. It was natural. It was normal. I know way too much about magic shows and such, but truthfully, I just grew up with the female body is normal, it's natural, it's beautiful. And it wasn't anything to be ashamed of. So I was born and raised to be in the arts and it's still very much a huge part of me. It's one of my biggest passions is theatre. It will always be. I actually own a theatre company at night, so I always tease that I touch boobs to pay for theatre because it's kind of this vicious cycle of of medicine to do the arts. However, I, I was told growing up, you better go back into theatre, girl, like that's where your strength is. So went to school with a full ride, had a full theatre scholarship, and then shortly after that my after my freshman year of college I actually went I had a full ride to Southern Utah University, which my parents, six weeks prior to my start date were like, you know, you're going to be bored and get into trouble. I was like, whatever. I just want to go away to school. Sent me to a school I had never heard of and Newport Beach at the time called Southern California College. It is now Vanguard University. And I was going to be a theater teacher.

Danielle: [00:06:50] After my freshman year, my parents, due to underlying circumstances, got custody of my two nephews and then legally adopted them, so I called my nephews and I had to drop out of school. I got married super young because I was told I would never be able to have kiddos. And if I wanted them, you know, I should just get right on that. I was blessed to have met my husband, who we've been married 20 years this February, 22 years together. As of today, today's our anniversary of our first kiss. And so I got married at twenty one. However, before our nuptials, I had gone through menopause, chemical menopause. I had also, like I said, I have lupus. So I have a really whacked out body. I had endometriosis. I had a baby at twenty two. I had a miscarriage and I had a second baby at twenty four and a full hysterectomy at twenty six. So talk about a roller coaster of hey, get married and let's throw all of this into the mix. So after my, my oldest daughter is 18 now after the her birth I was working at UCI in the School of Arts. Shocking. And because I was actually in like an accounting thing but I don't math at all like it's the running joke. Like I literally was playing poker one time and with my family because that's what we do. And I grew up in Vegas. I literally asked how many quarters do I get for a dollar?

Danielle: [00:08:28] And that's been not proud of that moment. I'm just not proud of it. That was also after a cocktail or two.

Danielle: [00:08:36] Ok, that's a whole another story for another time, anyway realized after my first daughter, I'm like, Yeah, like I don't want to just be, you know, I needed to change jobs after she was born. I actually remember. Let me backtrack. I was in our Lamaze classes, our childbirth classes. I was very pregnant and realized I didn't really quite want to work all day. I wanted to find something I could do where I could care for her during the day and still help pay for bills at night, which was awesome. And I was watching our childbirth educator and looked to my husband and said, Oh, my stars. That's literally a monologue about vaginas. I can one hundred percent do that. So that's what I decided I was going to do. I can talk about uteruses and vaginas and boobies all day. So I went to UCSD what love that place and started the process of becoming, in anything and everything and revolved around birth and parenting, et cetera, so gave birth to my first daughter, Alissa, who is now 18, I remember them handing her to me in the hospital. Here I am, this young 22 year old looking at the nurse going, seriously, you're giving your I'm fully responsible for a human. All that spooky. All right. So and just kind of jumped right in, you know, what else you're going to do. And it was easy at first, right? I mean, I had the standard juggles, et cetera, with her. But breastfeeding was easy. And I just remember going, I don't get what the big deal is like. I have a boob, she has a mouth, she latches on. This is great.

Danielle: [00:10:22] Yada, yada. What's everyone complaining about? Right. Right. Little did I know. Breastfed her for nine months, then got off because I to get back on some medication for lupus because that's just not good to breastfeed with. And lo and behold, on her first birthday, my mom looks at me and says, oh, you're pregnant. And I was like, shut your mouth, lady. I'm definitely not pregnant. I just am tired. I called her two days later sobbing going, Oh my God, I'm pregnant. And proceeded to be incessantly sick for the next nine months until I pushed that little critter out. So twenty one months later, I gave birth to Alaina. She is now sixteen. Let me just tell you side note, I have a squirrel brain, so I'm going to have like many aside notes, two teenage daughters twenty months apart who fight over shoes and all sorts of things to get good times. So just just hold your britches there, guys. It's it does go in a blink, but holy hell are the teenage years something else. Super awesome. I love it. But wow. Anyhow, back to Alaina's birth. So here I am thinking what's the big deal about breastfeeding? I've done it before. It's going to be easy. Had a pretty long, gnarly labor with her, she gives them to me. She was much smaller than my eldest daughter, my eldest daughter when I pushed her out. The nurses. Oh, my God, look at the size of her head. I'm like, yeah, I know. I just pushed her out my hoo ha. Thank you very much. My husband, of course, goes, is it ever going to go back to normal?

Danielle: [00:11:59] Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's good times right there. Yeah, of course.

Danielle: [00:12:05] Fast forward to Alaina as so she comes out and ends up latching and I stare at her going, oh, my God, I can't feel my baby, my nipples are going to fall off. And I mean when I say I thought my nipples were going to fall off, it was toe curling pain, which I know you mammas know all too well. It was one of those things I just remember sobbing going, I don't understand why this is so different. This should it be any different? Anything that could go wrong went wrong with her. I adore my kids. I mean, they literally changed my life. My eldest one sent me into medicine, which was fantastic. My youngest talked me into being a lactation consultant because I remember distinctly holding her one day sobbing with horrific postpartum depression, just saying I do not want any other mama having to go through what crazy hell this is. I loved her to pieces, but every feed was excruciating. I mean, I would have rather given birth to triplets without an epidural than had to go through that. So I knew something wasn't right. I was already working at a hospital, a local hospital, teaching childbirth classes. Actually, I was teaching classes, at like four different hospitals. That's a whole nother Oprah right there. But I think everyone I worked with at that time pretty much saw my nipples because something wasn't right. In fact, my professor came in, she goes, Oh, yeah, your daughter there has a heart shaped tongue she's tied, which in my head meant nothing to me at the moment because there was no research supporting that. Nobody understood what that meant. I just was told, you know what, it's going to hurt a bit. Let's go.

Danielle: [00:13:46] Until I went back to school and realized breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt. Now, when I say that, I know you all are looking at me like, are you on crack, lady? Because it hurts. It's not meant to.

Danielle: [00:14:01] So breastfeeding, if it hurts, means something needs to be adjusted, which I now know. But at the time I didn't know. So if you're in pain, girl, you don't have to be like that, let's find you someone who knows what they're doing to help you out of that situation. So Alaina was only breastfed for five months. I was a total closet bottle feeder, which is why my whole take on lactation always will be number one. You feed a baby. Number two, you do what's going to make you the best mom for that baby?

Danielle: [00:14:36] I am a firm believer that although we know that breastfeeding is best, that it's it has so many fantastic properties for helping the baby grow and the bond between mom and baby. Sometimes if breastfeeding is creating a wall between you and your baby and making it difficult for you to be the best mom to your children, sometimes it's OK to not breastfeed and to have that permission to quit. And I know that sounds super weird, probably coming from an IBCLC, but the most important thing to know is that this is a season. Is it awesome and beautiful? Yes, it's hard work. It is probably one of the more difficult things you will ever have to do up to this juncture in your life, which is why I encourage you to get help. But it's not for everyone, and I think as a lactation consultant, it's important to keep that open mind for all you mothers. We need to meet you. Where you're at has nothing to do with what I think what anyone else in the birth in medical field think is your journey. This was your birth. You've got to do this your way. You probably didn't necessarily have the birth you envisioned in your head. And so you might be grieving some of that. It might have been more difficult than you thought it was going to be. And now you're like, OK, birth was hard, pregnancy sucked. I've got breastfeeding and then that doesn't go well. You have to know that you're not alone and that I've got you.

Danielle: [00:16:04] We're going to get through this. I'm going to make this very real for you guys. I want you to know I'm here for you. Any questions you have? I'm going to get there and I'm going to cover the weird and crazy, wacky stories that's going to make this lighthearted and fun, but know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, so. With my daughter, Alaina, I will never forget, like I I left my first lactation consultant appointment at the hospital sobbing my nipples were bleeding. They gave me a nipple shield but didn't tell me what to do with it, didn't explain to me why my nipples were bleeding or why my daughter wasn't gaining weight and why she was lethargic and severely jaundice and wasn't peeing and pooping, that all I had to do was, you know, just just put her on like you'll figure it out. It's supposed to hurt. Toughen up your nipples, take a little washcloth, do it, rough it up. I'm like, what was in the actual hell like this isn't this isn't normal peeps. Like, I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. I remember getting in the car, the kids screaming in the back. I had the toddler screaming with me and speeding home. And then I got pulled over by a police officer on a motorcycle and I was just sobbing.

Danielle: [00:17:25] And he comes over and he's like, you know, Maam, you are going on over the speed limit. And I'm like, Listen, pal, I've got a baby that needs to eat. I got to go. And he's like, no, no, I'm going to write you a ticket. And I'm like, Listen, honest to God, truth, what I did, I said, so totally respect what you do, man, but either write me the ticket so I can go or I'm going to whip out my boob and feed my baby right then and there, which fast forward is exactly what I did, because when the baby wants to eat, the baby wants to eat. That child, bless her heart, is a fantastic human right now, but everything that could go wrong went wrong. I had sore nipples which developed into mastitis, which developed into thrush, which I had constant clogged ducts. I had tons of milk with my first daughter, hardly any with my second daughter. And remind you, those were only 20 months apart from those two things in your breast have cellular memory, they know what they're doing. If it's done it before, it can do it again. Which is why I have so many families that I helped breastfeed that are either adopting or that are lesbian families or breastfeeding for other partners. It's just it's super rad.

Danielle: [00:18:38] We'll get to that. But I, I distinctly remember being on my knees, praying, going please, that this not be how it's going to be forever? My baby was underweight. She was fussy for ever, and I had massive pressure on me from my family, from my friends, from my colleagues at work that I better breastfeed or else. And that's why when I say I'm a closet bottle feeder, I 100 percent was a closet bottle beater. And at five months, my O.B., who is become one of my dear friends, looked at me and said, Danielle, this is you have permission to stop. You need to be healthy for the kids you have and right now you are unhealthy for the kids that you have. You need to stop. And gave me my first bottle of formula and I grieved a little bit of the loss. I felt like I was failing, but she she encouraged me that most importantly, it is that I'm there as a mom. And I'll tell you having that that weight lifted off was a tremendous gift because it allowed me to focus on what truly mattered, which was my relationship and my bond with my daughter, but it was that defining moment that I realized I do not want any mamma to have to go through what I'm going through now.

Danielle: [00:20:03] And it started me on this incredible journey into becoming the lactation consultant that I am today. So I have made it my life's quest to seek out the weird cases, to seek out those things that you might not ever encounter. And find the reasons to the why and make it known and real and let you mammas know that everything you're going through, you have someone in your corner to help you with. There's always a reason to why you're experiencing what you are going through and you don't have to do it alone. So that is why this podcast is here. I am here to unravel all those questions and make it real and safe and fun and let you know that I promise you, there's other mammas that feel just like you do. It's not abnormal. It's not weird, but we're going to fix it. So that being said, that is exactly what this is podcast is for.

Danielle: [00:21:02] I am so excited to be able to be here with all of you to be able to answer those questions. You know, next week we're going to talk about ties, because my daughter, though, the trouble one that caused me to go into lactation, I shouldn't say cause she was a gift.

Danielle: [00:21:19] Had horrific reflux, her life, I mean, I wish I knew then what I know now. Had I known, those were my dogs, I apologize. Had I known then what I know now, I would one hundred percent have had a completely different kid.

Danielle: [00:21:34] And I'm going to share that knowledge with you and her story next time. But thank you so much for the opportunity to do this. I'm excited. I am here for you. Take a break, take a breath, mamma, take a moment for you, I got you. We're going to get through this together. This has been Danielle Gauss, internationally board certified lactation consultant with Lactation Nation. I am so excited, until next time friends.